


The Visible Horizon

by Michael_Ackart



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom!Shepard, Crying, Explicit Sexual Content, Horizon (Mass Effect), M/M, Male Slash, Mass Effect 2, Oral Sex, Top!Kaidan, custom Shepard - Freeform, not necessarily in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:28:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2278434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_Ackart/pseuds/Michael_Ackart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of all the crew on the original Normandy, Kaidan should've been the first to trust Shepard's reasons for working with Cerberus. He should've jumped at the chance to join his crew again and defeat the Collectors. After what they'd been through together, Kaidan should've at least been happy to see him for the first time in two years. Horizon proved Shepard wrong, but Kaidan understands what's at stake and maybe he'll come around</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Visible Horizon

Despite an entire human colony possibly being in danger, one thing the Illusive Man said stood out the most to Shepard.

Kaidan Alenko was on Horizon.

Kaidan was the Collectors’ next victim.

For weeks, Cal desperately tried to get a hold of the recently promoted Commander. It proved to be a rather fruitless endeavour. Anderson said he was on a classified mission and apparently nothing Cal sent was getting through because he was marked as Cerberus. But the knowledge that the other man might be abducted and taken to who knew where fuelled him through every the battle on the planet. From the moment he’d woken from his two year coma, he needed to see Kaidan. The Commander refused to let the fucking Collectors steal that opportunity from him.

And now...now Kaidan was walking towards him. After a month and a half of searching, the other biotic was there.

“Kaidan,” he murmured, not able to say much else for the moment. His squad stood far enough away to give them the illusion of privacy.

“I...I didn’t think the rumors were true,” the black-haired man quietly admitted. He was stunned. There wasn’t much access to read reports from Alliance or talk about things unrelated to his current mission. He tried, of course, to learn the real story and why rumors of Commander Cal Shepard suddenly being alive were surfacing. But now the reason was gazing at him with bright green eyes and he didn’t know what to do. If this was truly Cal then why was he just discovering...?

“They are. It’s me, Kay.”

The first emotion his frantic brain registered was ‘anger.’ He snapped. “If that’s true, then why the fuck am I just finding out you’re alive? It’s been more than two years! You couldn’t contact me all this time?" He took a deep breath and tried to calm his voice. "A part of me died with you, Cal. If you told me...I would’ve followed you anywhere.”

“I’ve been trying to contact you for weeks. You know I would’ve found you sooner if I could. But I couldn’t because I was in a coma while a team of scientists stitched me back together-”

“A team of Cerberus scientists? Are those rumors true too?”

Shepard frowned at the expression on Kaidan’s face. “...Yes, I’m working with Cerberus. Temporarily.”

“Oh, that makes it better. The reason I’m here is because the Alliance got tipped off that this would be the next colony hit. They suspect Cerberus to be behind the missing humans. What...what happened to you? This isn’t the Cal I remember. The real one would never sign up with terrorists.”

“At least give me a chance to explain.”

“If all you’re going to do is try justifying Cerberus’ actions to me...then maybe it’s just best if you don’t.”

“No, don’t be like that.” He took a step forward and flinched when the other man took a step back. “Kaidan...”

“Am I even talking to you right now? Or are you just some...some...”

“I’m not a clone, or a VI, there’s no control chip in my head.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. The deal when they fixed me was to make me exactly the way I was before. They didn’t want to risk anything that would possibly change me. I’m the same man you knew, still know. The one who just saved you from the Collectors. That’s what I’m doing. Cerberus is the only one taking this Reaper threat seriously and I need to do whatever it takes to stop the Collectors, even if it means working with the Illusive Man. But that doesn’t mean I’m one of them. I’m just using them.”

“Or is that only what they want you to think?”

“For the moment, we have the same goals. The Council has done nothing but attempt to hide the truth, and make it look like Saren was the real culprit. We both know better and I know you’re fed up with their inaction too.”

The biotic tried to take in everything his former Commander said. Some of it made sense but this was Cerberus...Cal would never... His amber eyes focused on the man in front of him. He looked like Shepard, spoke like him. But Kaidan’s hate for Cerberus ran deep and for good reason. He just couldn’t believe that Cal—his Commander, his friend, his...

His fists clenched. “No, I refuse to believe that you would sink this low. Stay with me, Cal. We can go back to the Citadel together. If anyone can convince them the Collectors are a threat, it’s you.”

Green eyes darted to the ground around them before sadly returning to the other sentinel. “As much as I want to, I can’t. The Alliance would ground me immediately, say I faked my death to join Cerberus, and the Council certainly wouldn’t listen to me. There’s no time to convince them, not with these colonies disappearing. But I want nothing more than to be at your side while I do this.”

Kaidan’s gaze hardened. “Well, that’s not going to happen. I’m still not convinced you’re not just some Cerberus puppet looking for a way to spy on the Alliance.”

Cal was stunned. He really believed he could get through to Kaidan. How could he not see the bigger picture? He charged forward and grabbed the other man’s face in his hands. The tension between them rose considerably.

“When this is over,” Shepard growled, “I will come back to you. And I will do everything I can to show you I’m still the real me.”

And then the brunette was crashing their lips together in a rough, desperate kiss. He felt Kaidan’s arms snake around his waist and clutch him as closely as their armor allowed. That this might be the last time he’d ever have Kaidan like this was killing him. He didn’t want to let go. But they pulled away, foreheads resting against each other’s and mouths panting.

There was still so much Shepard wanted to say. But now he knew nothing could convince Kaidan to join him—or at least make the man not hate him. “Goodbye, Kaidan. Stay safe.”

The man said nothing but he could see the shimmer of tears that Cal refused to let fall as they finally pulled apart. Shepard waited pointlessly another moment before turning around and going with his squad. Kaidan stayed rooted to the ground as he watched them leave, not sure if this was the right decision or if he had just made a terrible mistake.

10101010101

The trip back to the Normandy was silent, no one even knowing what to say to the Commander. The more Shepard thought about it, the dumber he felt. What had he expected from Kaidan? The man was Alliance through and through, of course he wouldn’t jump on board with Cerberus.

But he thought Kaidan trusted him.

Shepard hated working for Cerberus, but it was a necessary evil. After all they went through with Sovereign, he thought Kaidan would see that.

He took a shaky breath. What if this really was a suicide mission? No one would stitch him up this time. He would die never seeing Kaidan again and with the other biotic thinking he was nothing more than a Cerberus toy.

Then he’d just need to survive. He had no plans on dying a second time but this strengthened his resolve even more. Still, he felt incredibly hurt. Anger was added to the mix as soon as he gave a report to the Illusive Man. He had been behind this colony attack—Shepard, his crew, Kaidan, they’d been set up. Under normal circumstances, Cal would’ve seen that the reason for the set up made some sort of sense. But he was under too much stress at the moment. So as soon as he finished his report and had Joker plot a course to their next stop, he went alone to his cabin. He stripped off his armor and threw himself onto the bed. He was Commander Shepard, on a mission to save the galaxy from the greatest threat it faced, and he would allow himself this moment of weakness.

He clutched onto one of the pillows as he stared out the skylight into the dark expanse of space. Tears came to his eyes and this time he didn’t fight them.

“Goddamn it, Kaidan,” he whispered.

Why did he have to die? If he’d just been a little quicker, he would have made it into the escape pod. He and Kaidan never said it directly, but their friendship had already started evolving into something deeper on the SR-1. And then it was ripped away from them so harshly.

But if the attack never happened...he would still be with the Alliance. Would he still be wasting his time wiping out leftover pockets of Geth? Would the Council be sweeping him and Sovereign's true nature under the rug? He hated this situation but he wasn’t naive enough to think anything ever worked out so prettily.

All he wanted was to hold Kaidan, to tell him all the things he was afraid to say back on the original Normandy. And Shepard would fight like hell to make that happen.

10101010101

Shepard was as focused as ever on their mission, the Commander would never allow anything to change that. He would complete what needed to be done then suffer silently in his private quarters. But not everyone was fooled, the people from the Normandy SR-1 knew Shepard well.

Garrus tried talking to him, and it was awkward, because the alien had no clue what to say. Shepard would sometimes chuckle as the turian fumbled for words. But he appreciated what his friend was doing. The Commander checked his messages every day. His inbox seemed forever flooded with various requests and questions and favors, but never was there anything from his favorite black-haired whiskey-eyed biotic. Cal knew he shouldn’t hope but he’d been convinced since Eden Prime that some small part of himself was a masochist.

And then fifteen days after the ‘reunion,’ after a small mission on some tiny planet in the Terminus Systems, a new message appeared on his private terminal. He sat at his desk for a long time staring at it.

New message from: Kaidan Alenko

Subject: Horizon...

His heartbeat quickened as he finally opened it.

_Cal,_

_I’ve thought a lot about what you said, I also had the chance to talk to Anderson after I left Horizon. I know you saw him and I know you’re forwarding info about Cerberus to him. Look, this doesn’t mean that I accept you working for terrorists but...I’ve missed you a lot. Maybe they aren’t controlling you and if that’s the case...I want to see you. I’m returning to the Citadel in a few days and I’ll be there for a week. Here’s the hotel I’ll be staying at, come to my room if you can make it._

_Kaidan_

Shepard reread it over and over to make sure he saw right. Kaidan wanted to see him. He felt so relieved and happy. They still had a lot to get through before things could ever be ‘normal’ between them, but it was a start.

Five days after that message, Shepard was walking through the Presidium. The other biotic knew he was coming and was waiting in his hotel. Cal was glad for the privacy but wondered if Kaidan also didn’t want to be seen with a Cerberus soldier. Oh well. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter at that moment.

The brunette used a massive amount of self-control not to just run to the hotel. But his foot was tapping rapidly as he rode the elevator to the correct floor. After what felt like forever, he stepped out and made his way to his former Lieutenant’s door. A few heavy knocks and his heart was racing.

Moments later it opened, revealing Kaidan in casual clothing. They each drank the other’s image before the Alliance soldier remembered to invite him in. Cal walked into the room and turned around to face Kaidan once the door was closed. Neither knew what to really say.

“Cal...” Kaidan finally breathed. “Is it really you in there?”

“Yeah, Kay. It’s me, I promise.”

The black-haired man moved so fast, it took Shepard a moment to realise he was engulfed in a hug. He wasted no time wrapping his strong arms around Kaidan.

“Two years,” he whimpered into Cal’s shoulder. “Two years I lived thinking you were dead. I nearly lost myself to grief—I would’ve if Anderson hadn’t been there for me.”

“I’m sorry, Kaidan. I’m so sorry I left you.”

“If I had just stayed on the Normandy-”

“We both could’ve died. What happened wasn't your fault.”

Kaidan pulled his head up. Cal watched as tears fell from his amber eyes.

“I understand why you’re doing this with Cerberus. Just...promise you won’t stay with them.”

“I won’t, you know that. I swear, once this is over I’ll come back to the Alliance.”

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t come with you...”

“It’s okay. I’m not going to ask that of you. Who knows what Alliance will do to me when I come back? I don’t want you to risk that too. It’s enough that you asked me to come here.”

Kaidan wiped his eyes then told Cal to sit down further inside the hotel room. It was as large as an apartment. They both took a seat on the couch. “How long can you stay?”

“Unless the Illusive Man contacts me, I have a few days. The crew’s on shore leave so everyone’s happy for the moment.”

He nodded. “You can stay here then.”

“I had hoped so.”

“Um, oh, are you hungry or...something?” He stood, suddenly nervous. Or maybe it was guilt gnawing at him.

“Could do with a beer.”

He nodded again and walked over to the fridge. When he returned to the couch, he sat much closer than before. They sipped on the bottles a couple minutes before Kaidan spoke up.

“Who else from the original crew is with you?”

“Dr Chakwas, Joker, you saw Garrus. I’ve seen some of the others too.”

“And what did they think?”

“Nobody likes Cerberus and I know Garrus was pretty concerned, but they’re working for me, not them. The ones who haven’t come had other obligations.” He watched the emotions that played across the other man’s face. “But they still believed in me. Though if anyone trusted me, I thought it’d be you.” He wished they could move on but this had been clawing at his brain for over two weeks.

“I do! I-I...what would you have done in my position?” He wasn’t trying to defend what happened, he really needed to know what Shepard would have done.

“I would’ve believed you and joined you.” Kaidan seemed to shrink into himself a little and Cal wondered what exactly he was thinking. “I don’t want you to come with me though,” he continued and amber eyes snapped up immediately. “Kaidan, there’s...there’s a chance I might not come back from this mission. The Collectors are coming from the Omega 4 relay and I plan to take the Normandy through it.”

“ _What?_ Are you crazy? I have to go then! If there’s anyone who can help you, it’s me.”

“I know that. But I have no idea what’s waiting for me on the other side. And if something happens, if I don’t come home...then Kaidan, I need you to do whatever it takes to make the galaxy see that the Reapers are a threat and that they’re coming. It’ll be up to you. I know it’s a lot but I know you’ll be able to do it.”

The biotic looked shocked. “Fuck, Cal. The stuff you do only gets more and more insane. But you promised me. On Horizon you promised you were coming back when it was over and you better not break it. You didn’t rise from the dead just for me to lose you again!”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll come back. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gotten out of a bad situation. You know that better than anyone.”

“Yeah...I’m sorry, Cal.”

“I know, Kaidan. It’s okay.”

“R-really? Just like that?”

“It was so hard for me to walk away on Horizon. The last couple weeks have been hell. But I was really fucking happy to get your message. I want to move on, I’m tired of wasting time. I think we already learned our lesson on the first Normandy.”

“I agree. There’s so much I never got to say or do...”

“Me too. I’ll never know what I missed, but we’re getting a second chance.” He moved as close as he could to the black-haired soldier. “Now let me tell you what I wanted to say two and a half years ago. I love you, Kaidan.”

“I love you too.”

Their lips came together for a kiss much softer than and not quite as desperate as the one on Horizon. Shepard gripped Kaidan’s arms and pushed him back until they were both lying down. He rested his head on the other commander's shoulder.

“How do these things keep happening to us?” Kaidan asked.

“Just a couple of real lucky guys,” the Sentinel responded. He closed his eyes as a hand brushed through his dark brown hair. “I’m really looking forward to the next few days.”

“So am I, Cal. So am I.”

And maybe it wouldn’t be like old times, before this whole mess, but it could come pretty damn close.

“Now...I don’t actually have anything here besides beer and Gummi Blastos. So we can order room service or go out and explore the Citadel.”

“People might see you with the big bad Cerberus soldier.”

“No, they’ll see me with Commander Shepard, the man who saved their asses a couple years ago.”

“Mm, let’s go out later. I want room service now.”

“Okay. I’ll call down.”

But neither man made any sort of effort to move.

“Cal...”

“Use your biotics to levitate the comm.”

“Use yours.”

“I’m too lazy.”

Kaidan chuckled. “I think that’s the last word anyone would use to describe you.” He hummed when Shepard began peppering his neck with kisses.

“Let’s hold off on lunch for a minute.”

“Just a minute?”

Cal didn’t answer, instead he sat up and straddled Kaidan’s waist. “No more holding back, okay?”

He nodded and brushed a hand against his stubbled cheek. “Agreed.”

A wicked grin then spread across Shepard’s face. He leaned down for a kiss at the same time his hips ground into the man below him. Kaidan moaned, aroused and thrilled to have Cal in his arms again. His hands slid up the commander’s shirt, trying their best to map the muscles of his back.

“I want you, Cal,” he whispered into his ear.

The brunette nodded then stood, that raspy voice doing wonders to him. He held his hand out for the soldier and pulled him up. They didn’t get far before Kaidan tried tugging the other man out of his clothing. Shepard let himself be stripped, unbuttoning Kaidan’s pants and tossing his shirt to the floor in the process. The pair was naked before they even entered the bedroom.

Kaidan’s arms snaked around the other biotic’s body, hands reaching to squeeze Shepard’s perfect ass. Cal gripped his shoulders as they rubbed against each other. The brunette’s head tilted back moments later when a pair of lips found the sensitive spot along his neck.

“Kaidan, Kaidan,” he panted as he pushed his hips harder against the older man.

The biotic’s teeth sank lightly into the skin between neck and shoulder before hands pressed against Shepard’s chest. The other man got the hint and let himself be pushed onto the bed. Bright green eyes followed Kaidan’s movements to the nearby nightstand. Knowing what he was after, Cal moved to lie on his back. This wasn’t exactly what he planned for when he docked at the Citadel but he was so happy now that it was happening. His hand sneaked down to tease his own erection. He wanted the biotic now and worried he was too eager to last long. Or maybe his eagerness was a good thing. Maybe Kaidan was feeling the same way and they’d both come in thirty seconds.

His thoughts were derailed when a firm body was suddenly on top of him and lips pressed against his. Kaidan wasted little time trailing downwards. He nipped his sensitive spot again before stopping at the brunette’s nipples. Shepard’s fingers threaded through his hair as he groaned. He used his strength to flip the pair over, much to the other biotic’s surprise. Cal smirked before crawling down the length of Kaidan’s body. He pressed kisses to his muscled stomach then lower to his thighs.

“You’re such a tease,” Kaidan groaned. “Maybe I'll do something about that later.”

“I hope so, Commander,” Shepard whispered before his mouth sank onto Kaidan’s thick cock.

The older man’s hand went straight to Shepard’s head and gripped his hair. His fingers brushed the bio-amp hidden at his neckline, causing Cal to hum around his flesh. He panted as lips and a talented tongue worked his dick. He glanced down to watch himself disappear in the brunette’s mouth over and over, and look at the hollowed cheeks. Cal bobbed his head a few more times before stopping with a purposefully lewd pop. He slithered up Kaidan until he was straddling his hips, his own cock jutting painfully hard.

“How soundproof are these walls?” Cal asked.

“They’re pretty thick actually. I haven’t heard much of anyone.”

“Yeah? Well, I want you to fuck me so hard that this whole damn floor hears us.”

“Careful what you wish for. Your crew’s gonna watch you limp back to the ship and know what happened.”

“I’m counting on it, Kay.”

Cal smirked, a wild glint in his eyes, and it turned Kaidan on even more. He sat up quickly, then used his biotics to tip Shepard onto his back. He wasted little time grabbing the lube he pulled from the drawer earlier. The former Spectre saw what he was doing and eagerly spread his legs. Kaidan momentarily froze at the sight.

He wasn’t looking at Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel. His amber eyes were on Cal, the man he had loved for years. His muscular legs were open for Kaidan, his dick hard for Kaidan, his emerald eyes focused on _Kaidan_. And Kaidan really wanted him too.

He opened the tube and squeezed some of the substance onto his fingers. A couple digits pushed in and out of the younger man to slicken him up and he savored every tiny moan from his lips.

“I’m ready,” Shepard groaned, already sounding impatient.

Kaidan took a shaky breath before leaning over Cal and pressing the tip of his cock against his ass. The brunette biotic smiled briefly before a shiver racked his body. Kaidan was entering him slowly, he loved the feeling of being stretched and filled. The amber-eyed man stilled once he was inside fully to give Shepard a moment to adjust. It must’ve been a while since he’d done this, though he threw those thoughts away immediately.

Shepard clenched around his dick to demonstrate his readiness and coax a moan from Kaidan’s lips. It worked. The other man grabbed the brunette’s thighs and pushed them wider before giving a thrust of his hips. He started a rhythm that left both men gasping. Cal gripped his arms hard and his back arched when the head of Kaidan’s dick started brushing against his prostate.

“God, fuck! Keep doing that!” he cried out.

The biotic released Shepard’s legs to brace his arms on the bed. He pumped his hips faster, revelling in the tight heat that surrounded him. Kaidan's head dropped a little as he concentrated on repeatedly sliding into Cal, he could hear himself panting the other man’s name.

Cal’s green eyes were shut tightly against the incredible pleasure in his ass. He’d wanted this on the first Normandy and it definitely compared to the fantasies created in his mind. Then his eyes snapped open when the feeling was gone. It took Shepard a moment to realise Kaidan had pulled out and was sitting between his legs. Just as he opened his mouth to curse, Kaidan grabbed his hip, and with more biotic assistance, easily flipped him over.

Shepard buried the side of his face into a pillow as the older man re-entered him. He just let himself be fucked, head down and ass in the air. He cried out at the new angle, his body jolting forward with each thrust. Kaidan throbbed against his inner walls and it made him moan more.

“Kay, more! I’m so fucking close!” he nearly shouted.

Kaidan was fucking him hard now, the position helping him reach deeper. He was close too but he really wanted Shepard to come first. One of his hands lifted from the brunette’s hips and smacked his ass.

“Come on, Cal,” he murmured as he pressed his chest against the other man’s back. “Let go.”

Shepard turned his neck to meet amber eyes. Kaidan stared a moment before closing the small distance with a kiss. He kept up the pace until Cal broke off into a loud cry and came onto the blanket below them. With the extra spasms around his cock, Kaidan didn’t last much longer and finished inside the other commander.

He pulled out gently and watched Shepard roll onto his side. The brunette was panting, a hint of a smile on his lips. Kaidan brushed his hand against Cal’s thigh before moving. He situated himself to sit with a pillow between him and the headboard. Shepard crawled up until he was resting against the older man’s chest. They exchanged another soft kiss before the Sentinel broke the silence.

“We really should get some lunch now. So much calorie burning,” Cal muttered.

“Romantic,” Kaidan gruffed, though there was no real conviction behind it. He knew Shepard’s personality and he loved every bit of it.

“Sorry. I really love you, Kay.” He kissed his cheek then whispered, “I also would really love a sandwich.” He cried out a moment later in surprise when a shock of biotic energy jolted his leg.

“I guess I can go buy you food. Get some clothes on and we’ll head out.” He smiled to himself, watching Cal rub his leg as he stood.

The two men had to go out to the other room to gather their clothing. Shepard followed Kaidan to the door but stopped him with a hand to the shoulder. The older man was about to ask if something was wrong when Cal threw himself against him, making Kaidan’s body thump against the wall.

“I’m so fucking happy,” the brunette kept murmuring against his lips. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

And Kaidan understood because he felt exactly the same. The amber-eyed man wondered how he was going to let Cal go in a few days. He’d just gotten him back after two years and now he had to let him return to the Illusive Man’s dangerous world. He didn’t want to but knew it needed to be done. Dr Chakwas was with him, Joker too. Both Alliance yet they didn’t care of the consequences they could face after the mission was complete. It made him think about his own objections to joining the crew, to Shepard’s objections to him joining.

“I love you,” Kaidan whispered. ‘Don’t go. Don’t go.’ Those words were on the tip of his tongue, begging to be voiced.

The brunette stopped kissing him and instead placed his head on Kaidan’s shoulder. He was unknowingly thinking the same thing as the black-haired biotic. He told Kaidan not to come with him, but deep down he really didn’t mean it. However, he couldn’t ask him after what he said earlier.

They stayed in the same position for a few minutes longer, neither quite ready to give the other up. But they would leave each other’s arms and they’d go out and get some lunch. And they silently agreed not to let the looming separation ruin the little bit of lost time they’d been given back.


End file.
